Blessed Hope

I have to write. My heart is filled with so much joy. I don't know how to explain it, but I am going to try because I can't hold it in. I don' know if even of you have heard of the song by Leeland called "Carried to the Table." If you haven't, please look up the lyrics; they are that good. I heard that song today in a new way.

First off, has God ever told you to do something that you thought Man. If anyone finds out about this, they will think I am mentally insane. Well, I did yesterday. See, God had been placing this church on my heart for several days, and I kept thinking. "Lord, that church is an hour away. It doesn't make any sense for me to drive an hour just to go to church. What am I supposed to say. 'God told me to do this.'" So I tried to ignore it and this morning I woke up at 9:15. The church service starts at 10:45. I was like, see God. I woke up late, can't go. But I found myself getting ready and before you know it, I was out of the door by 9:35. Literally, as I'm driving; I'm also talking to myself. I'm saying things like Kendyl. You probably should get help. People are going to think there is something wrong with your mind. You are doing something absolutely ridiculous. Then, I started praying, and I kept praying the whole way down. Lo and behold, I pulled into the parking lot at exactly 10:45. I got out of the car, walked into the church and sat in the very back row on the corner thinking the whole time that I was insane and stupid for doing this.

But my perspective quickly shifted. As soon as the music started, I felt completely at peace and I just opened my heart to the Lord. Literally, the music; the message...Everything was exactly what I needed to hear. There was one point where I thought. Oh. That's why you want me here God. I left feeling so satisfied and filled with the joy of Christ. I look back on my life, and I remember so few moments where I have obeyed the Lord like that even when it didn't make sense. It was funny because I actually laughed. I couldn't believe that I had never really trusted him like that before. Completely and totally surrendered to Christ. That is what I strive to be every day. I say every day because literally the day after I had this experience(which would be today), Satan just attacked me with all his lies, and it was so hard. Still is. But I remembered that I'm in a spiritual battle every day. Of course Satan doesn't want me to be joyful or trust in the Lord. But today, I choose to trust God. I choose to surrender all my pain and frustration and anger to God because I know I can. I know he has me in his hands and he loves with me an everlasting and unconditional and redeeming love like nothing this world has ever seen. He is in control. So, I ask. Are you trusting God today with your life?